I want to go to Wonderland

You see all these naked pictures on here with girls showing their tits, and half the time I’m just comparing my tits to theirs. “Yupp, my tits are better than yours, but no one will ever know” ;)

We got a dancer over here! Haha. #PAX #Leagueoflegends #illusions #hilarious

We got a dancer over here! Haha. #PAX #Leagueoflegends #illusions #hilarious

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via kanyequeen)

Holy fuck. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

(via strangevibezz)

This shit gives me hope.

(Source: internmarlee, via mrshightimes)

poorlittlequeenie:

thebearqueen:

nothing-here-go-away:

wolfstrider:

thomassawyerismyname:

mangiemay:

irvinator1:

booksarerevolution:

vegankween:

1. Those tigers look thin.

2. Zoos are fucking stupid.

3. Capturing wild animals and using them for human entertainment is a super shitty thing to do.

4. This is not cool.

This is abuse and horrible.  Zoos are prisons.

Some zoos only take old animals to where they are given an easy life. Their maintenance is funded by people coming into the zoo.

Those tigers are not thin.

"Zoos are fucking stupid" wow such science you sold me

They weren’t captured for this purpose, they probably weren’t captured at all, it’s called rescuing. 

This is cool.

This is not abuse, it’s actually exercise if you think about it.

Zoos are not prisons. Zoos allow us to rescue animals, research them, and protect them from hunters and the dangers that we, as humans, impose on them.

I’m so done with all the shit about zoos on my fucking dash. 

Zoos literally save animals every day so why don’t you do your freaking research.

This comment is perfect^

Animals come to zoos as a result of 

  • being born captive
  • getting injured in the wild and rescued to live a healthy life in captivity
  • being rescued from black market dealers, private collectors, or the like who decide that they can no longer care for the animals or who had been illegally keeping the animals
  • being in a breeding program to increase their numbers because the animal is endangered in the wild

If you knew anything about tigers at all, you’d know that they are endangered in the wild due to poaching and hunting. It is of utmost importance that their numbers increase, or they will go extinct within the next fifty years. I don’t know what zoo this is so I don’t know their reputation, but the tigers look healthy, and this tug-of-war is good for them because some animals get stressed in zoos when they are bored. This isn’t solely to entertain zoo guests, it is to give the tigers something fun to do.

Zoos do not snatch animals from the wild without a good reason. If you want to protest animal captivity, go to SeaWorld and protest the orcas being kept there, they are far too large to belong in such cramped spaces and they are solely kept for entertainment.

Thank you and good day.

ALSO ITS NOT LIKE THEY’RE FORCING THE TIGERS TO GRAB THE ROPE, THE TIGER WANTS TO PLAY

Tigers play just like domestic cats play with each other, this is for the educational benefit of the visitors and the enrichment benefit of the tigers. Also word to the comment above. Tigers are endangered to the point that they cannot repopulate themselves in the wild, they need the help of captive institutions like zoos, where they live carefree lives free of stress and can breed and birth without fear that other predators and mating competitors will come along and eat their cubs.

Furthermore, these tigers are NOT thin. In fact, one of the ones in the large group looks borderline obese. People who know nothing about animals need to stop talking about animals.

Boosting the shit out of this because I’m so damn tired of whiney morons (who probably never get outside) bitching about animal’s rights when they really have no fucking clue.

DO YOUR GODDAMN HOMEWORK.

(Source: poyzn, via barackallama)